Illusions Terminated

My Experience & Evolution

I remember how excited and nervous I was in my first pole class. I really didn’t understand what pole dance was or what a journey this would become. I assumed that these classes were just the latest trend in recreation and fitness. A time for ‘regular’ women to make-believe that they were strippers, learn to be sexy, and get a little fitness into their day. I had no idea that pole dance would become my passion. I had no idea that my ideas about sex work would change. And I had no idea that I would gain skills that would benefit me in other areas of my life. Some benefits that pole dancing has brought to my life are:

· Focus and attention skills

· Enhanced memory

· Strength

· Flexibility

· Mind-body connection

· Sense of community

· Increased confidence

· Self-love

· Body acceptance

· Decreased overthinking

· Laughter and fun

This is not to say that I now excel at any of these things, but they have definitely improved.

Before my first class I was nervous that I would be surrounded by beautiful women with perfect bodies. Would they look down on average looking me? Would they act snotty and competitive? Would the instructor expect me to do something sexual that I wasn’t comfortable with? What is involved in pole dancing? It wasn’t long before I got an answer to all my questions.

One of my first misperceptions was on who takes pole dance classes. In my pole classes and at many studious you will find both women and men of all different shapes, sizes, ages, backgrounds and careers. Another incorrect idea I had was that pole dance just involved dancing sexy around a pole. I was shocked to learn that pole included acrobatic tricks that take a tremendous amount of strength, skill and focus.

I learned that I wasn’t the only one who assumed pole dancing would be a class full of beautiful women trying to one-up the next one. I’ve heard it from many others. Thankfully this one-up/competitive thing has not been something that I have experienced in the classes. In fact, after spending hours a week training with the same people, you become excited when someone finally gets their nemesis trick. It’s hard not to grin ear to ear when you’re that person that finally gets the move and classmates notice and cheer.

Comparing pole bruises (pole kisses) and sharing woes over ‘slippy’ pole days turned into sharing life events outside of pole. Saturday morning classes extended to Saturday brunch. I remember looking around the table of about 10 people and being fascinated at how different we all were, yet how the same we all were. This circle of friends became my support system both on-the-pole and off-the-pole.

Pole dance became like an addiction to me, like it does to many others. My non-pole friends would ask why I take so many classes. They would say ‘you must be good from taking so many classes’. People also say this after hearing that I’ve been doing it for 7 years. This is one of the many misperceptions that I have met with concerning pole. Someone like me with no natural athletic skills (dance specifically) or experience in athletics needs A LOT OF TIME to become ‘good’. --What does ‘good’ even mean?

The reason why we take so many classes is because there are so many elements of pole and a variety of classes are needed to increase your skill. This includes spin pole (where the pole itself spins), choreography (for different kinds of dance styles), pole tricks and static spins, flexibility, floor work (shoulder stands, heal clacking) and strength training.

My ideas around sex work changed when I learned that members of my pole community were indeed strippers. They were nothing like how I envisioned a stripper to be. They had the same sense of humour as me, they had great values, wore similar clothing to me – actually nicer/cuter clothing, and on a whole were just lovely people. This led me to addressing my ideas around sex work itself, which also changed (we will discuss this in a future post).

Another misunderstanding I had was about the fitness side of pole. I had NO idea it was considered a sport, with competitions, and on its way to the Olympics. I had no idea how complex the competitions were. (This too will be discussed in a future post.)

While my skill level is not at the competitive level, I still train and train hard. I do it because I love it. I do it because I love how it is making me evolve as a person. Over the last seven years, I have grown in so many ways, and I’m still growing, because I work hard at approaching pole and life with an open mind.

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The Bruise and the Move that Caused It:

Many moves require skin grip, skin grip causes pole burn and bruising (pole kisses as we call them). Eventually, the skin does get desensitized, but don't take any time off - or the bruising starts again.

Enjoy the following bloopers: