Someone Like Me Can’t Pole Dance

Axiom1418
Jul 22, 2021
3 min read

Updated: Jul 25, 2021

"Anyone can pole dance if they want to,” Kathy Kraft, 64-year-old pole dance student.

“You can be any shape, size, gender! Just give it a try,”

Riley Sanoe, instructor & past Canadian Pole Fitness Association judge.

What is Age?

At age 59, Kathy Kraft decided to try something new … pole dancing. Although she knew she was older than most students, she didn’t think much about it. “I was really scared, but there were lots of new people starting at the same level.” Despite it being a little intimidating, she had great support and the pole studio was very welcoming. With perseverance, at age 60, she finally managed her first pole climb. Kathy felt like she “was on top of a mountain”.

“Wow, I can’t do that,” is often heard from people while watching Kathy on a pole. She says this is the highest compliment, especially when it comes from someone younger. Kathy wants to inspire people of all ages, like how 70-year-old pole dancer, Greta Pontarelli has inspired her.

Kathy – You have!!

Modifications & Options

I encourage you to read instructor, Soleil Jane’s, article, ‘8 Self-Care Affirmations for Black Women in Pole Dancing’. This beautifully written article opened my eyes to what it’s like for a black woman in a pole dance class.

I won’t reiterate all of her points, as I want you to read it for yourself, in her words. However, I will say that I love her comment on how a hair toss is just a neck roll + tax. Not everyone has long hair for tossing. She also says everyone’s body is different and to find the shapes that works for yours.

I take lessons from both Kelly Lyne and Sarah Polerina. Kelly says that anyone can pole, but not everyone can do everything. You have to be realistic. It’s important not to compare yourself with other students. Just compare yourself with “who you were yesterday”.

When a student struggles with a certain move, Kelly tries to find a different way for them to get into it. Sometimes she will have to do some research and get back to the student. Sarah also offers modifications or alternatives if a student can’t do a certain trick or move. (Secret: On my lazy days, I choose her easy options. Shhh don’t tell her!) Sarah says that providing options can get difficult in the advanced levels.

Inclusivity

From what I hear through my friends who teach pole, and from what I see on Instagram accounts, it looks like studios are trying to be more inclusive. They are working on their terminology and how they teach things. I think they should give Soleil’s article a read as they work towards this.

If studios want to be inclusive to all genders, including non-binary, then looking at terminology is important. Many pole moves have female centred names, such as ‘vagina monster’. Yep that’s right - it’s a move!

I asked Mike Scott, past pole instructor, if there was a difference between male and female dancers. He mentioned the main difference is that the majority of females get jealous of the strength of males, while the men get jealous of the flexibility of women. I’ve noticed this as well. Kathy, who got her splits in her 60s wants to encourage people of all ages and genders to keep working at it. “You can do it!” she says. Thanks Kathy! The struggle is real!!

What Mike loves about pole, is that you learn to do acrobatic things that most people don’t think ‘normal people’ can do. But what’s amazing is that we, normal people, CAN do this stuff.

While pole dancing is a sport that is open to all, the pole community is not perfect. There is still lots of work to be done to ensure it truly is inclusive. Not all pole studios are the same and every community has its group of assholes. However, no matter your age, size, gender etc., if you want to pole dance, I encourage you to give it a try. If you come up against attitude, then please remember what Kelly Lyne says: “I am who I am. Your approval isn’t needed.” Be you and do what works for you!